‘Making News’ was my attempt to satirise the lowlife tactics employed by the tabloid press in London. Written during 2009, it includes phone hacking, entrapment, stakeouts and secret recordings. It doesn’t, however, include the hacking of a murdered teenager’s phone. It turns out I should have aimed lower.

‘The photo was clearly sexual, all skin and limbs. It was a CCTV image, which looked to be from security footage. Lucas leaned forward to read the accompanying paragraph. Within half a sentence it was as though a foot had crashed through the monitor and kicked his teeth in. He closed his eyes and willed himself to wake up. He checked again. The image was still there. My god, look at the goofy smiles. No wonder the world was laughing. Under normal circumstances, he’d be laughing too. If the face that was front-and-centre didn’t belong to a member of his family.’

Lucas Dekker is celebrity offspring, twice over. His Australian father, Charlie, has recently retired from a stellar football career in the Premier League. His English mother, Monica, is a self-help guru, who has sold millions of books with her pro-family message. But when Charlie’s involvement in a bizarre sex scandal hits the tabloids, the Dekkers’ own family dynamic will never be the same again.

Making News is a darkly hilarious story about celebrity culture, the media and what really goes on behind the smutty front pages that everyone loves to read.

Tony Martin launching ‘Making News’